Don't mess with the best cause the best don't mess: a tribute to the Domino's on Military Drive in Green Bay

You all know about my love of Domino's.  In January, I had one of my best delicious and rewarding pizza moments ever, thanks to Domino's employee of the year (as appointed by me), Charles (pictured).  In the words of my friend, who wrote a customer compliment card to the manager of this fine establishment, "we received excellent service from your staff on the evening of January 8, 2011. We had a large order very near closing, and the staff was kind, personable and efficient when dealing with our (10+ person limo) rowdy group. I was particularly impressed with Charles, who was professional and helpful when assisting us with our crust choice and helping us acquire red pepper flakes. In addition, the pizza was delicious! Much better than Domino's in Chicago. I appreciate the care you put into running a clearly top-notch establishment."  I couldn't have said it better myself.

As a side note, should you ever decide to rent a party bus and drive it to Green Bay, Wisconsin in the middle of winter, I highly recommend stopping at Stirrups in downtown Green Bay, a self-described low down urban country bar, for an ice cold Miller Lite and a do-si-do around the dance floor to the tunes of Alan Jackson. Tell 'em Large Marge sent ya.

Pizza Luce

One of the first and more unfortunate pieces of knowledge you acquire as a first year corporate lawyer is which pizza places deliver late night to your office.  One of the accompanying unfortunate pieces of knowledge you acquire is that eating delivery pizza late every night is really bad for you.  This is precisely why as you gain seniority in any corporate setting it is important to learn to delegate your work to junior people so that you can leave and go out to pizza late at night with your friends.  Although this is still wildly unhealthy, it is much more fun.

During my time working in downtown Minneapolis, Pizza Luce and I got to know each other well.  I still think they have some of the best toppings in the world. My favorite (pictured below) is the Ruby Rae, which has the toppings on upside down (which means more tomato sauce – yay) including sausage, cheese, garlic, spinach and tomato.  I’m also a fan of the baked potato pizza (classic carb on carb action) and the Pizza Lupe, which has ground beef, black beans, green onions, cheese and lots of other stuff. I especially appreciate the Pizza Lupe for those difficult evenings when you can’t choose between a pizza and a burrito.  The crust is, for me, unremarkable, but it stays out of the way and holds up the toppings like a champ.

Pizza Luce

Minneapolis, MN USA

Crust: 4

Toppings: 10

Sauce: 9

VFM: 5

Ambiance: 8

Overall: 8

Yosemite Pizza

There are a few things my annual trip to Yosemite for the birth of the great nation of the United States of America is known for, however pizza is not exactly one of them.  Ever since the great pizza grilling fiasco of 2006 (?), when we cluelessly tried to cook individually-topped personal pizzas for 20 people over a small, medium heat wood fire (somewhat shockingly, with limited success), it has been off the menu.  This year heralded in a new era of Yosemite pizza for two reasons.  One, Pizza Factory opened in Groveland to supplement the Mariposa location, bringing we toss ‘em they’re awesome that much more accessible for those driving to the cabin from the SF area instead of LA.  If you’re wondering about the Pizza Factory, you might want to check out Deets’ Pizza Factory ratings map, which can tell you which Pizza Factories to drive hundreds of miles out of the way (even ITE* even WTGP^) for and which ones are worth a miss.  Second, we had a small enough group that it was practical to cook pizza in the oven.

Although these turned out slightly burnt, they were tasty, had the advantage of being cooked inside away from the world’s hungriest mosquitoes and were fuel for some of the best views in the world the next day.  Never underestimate the importance of pre-hike carboloading.

I mean with these views, seriously, who gives a sh!t about the pizza?

*In THIS economy

^With THESE gas prices

Papa Murphy's

Although I’m known amongst my friends for hanging on slightly too dearly to the nostalgic taste of pizzas from my childhood (although note that this is actually predicted by the so called Pizza Cognition Theory developed by Sam Sifton which as I'm sure you all know states that the first slice of pizza a child sees and tastes...becomes, for him, pizza), I will defend my love of Papa Murphy’s until I die.  If you’re not familiar with Papa (we are on a first name basis), his pizzas are prepared while you wait in an oven-safe tray for baking at home.  Delight crust is Papa Murphy’s lower-calorie crust but it is definitely my favorite because of its crunchtasticness.  The beauty of Papa Murphy’s is that it has the convenience of a frozen pizza in that you can eat it whenever you want, is a deal at US$7 for a large, and the toppings are 9,000% fresher.  In this case I enjoyed my Papa Murphy’s Rancher deLITE pizza on a beautiful Minnesota day at my parents’ house overlooking Lake Sylvan while loons called in the distance.  Perfection.

Papa Murphy's

Crust: 9

Sauce: 5

Toppings: 9

VFM: 10

Ambiance/Delivery: 8

Overall: 8

Mamma Mia Pizzeria

It's been a long time since I've had the pleasure of writing a review of some decent pizza; I'm just disappointed to say that this restaurant is located in Oxford, England approximately 6,000 miles away from the Kong.

Here are the things that made this pizza way better than Hong Kong pizza:

1. It was delicious.

Margherita di Bufala Pizza

San Fernando Pizza (Spinach, red onions, cherry tomatoes and goat cheese)

You thought that was it didn't you?  Ok here are the other reasons:

2.  The sauce was really really good. It was bright and zingy and it made the pizza taste like an explosion of tomatotastic flavor.  It is notable that I put this before number 3 because usually the first thing I consider is the crust.    

3.  The crust was also good, although it suffered from center sogginess disease (a blight caused by winter mold that ravaged the pizza crops of Italy during 1845-1852, causing the country's population to drop by 20-25% due to mass starvation and emigration).  

4.  CHEESE, glorious CHEESE! We're anxious to try it.  Three pizzas a day!  Our favorite diet!  Side note (or maybe re-writing the lyrics of food, glorious food from Oliver with cheese-related references was the side note and what is coming is the main note): the margherita pizza was notable in that the mozzarella was uncooked.  I'm not sure if this is traditional in Italy (don't think so?) but I prefer it cooked.  

5. I love goat cheese.

Below: gratuitous dining companion elbow shot

Crust: 9
Sauce: 10
Toppings: 9
VFM: 6 (Is anything in England a good value for money?)
Ambiance: 7
Total: 9

Mamma Mia Pizzeria

102 Walton Street, Jericho

Oxford

01865 311211

Pizzeria Mario Espresso - Hiroshima

They say you can't judge a book by its cover but when it comes to judging western restaurants in Asia I usually judge them by the quality of English employed in their menu.  As in, if it says Serveral kinds of saues can be seleeted and some of the choices are Block pepper sauce Retchup and Mexico cilliy sauce, I'm not expecting too much.  Although the place was super cozetastic and had what I would describe as an up-north cabin on the coast of Maine nautical theme (for some reason), the menu could use review by someone who speaks English at greater than an age 4 level.  Therefore, for this and other reasons, including, but not limited to, that I was in Japan, I had my doubts.

Nonetheless, it gives me much joy to whole-heartedly report that their pizza is AWESOME in all capitals, which means I'm not kidding around.  After a somewhat depressing day learning about nuclear war and wandering around in the rain NOT attending a baseball game (it was rained out), this was just what I needed.

The crust at this place is the kind of crust you dream about at night.  Well it is the kind I dream about at night, at least. Soft, chewy, bubbly, slightly crispy at the slightly burnt places. I mean COME ON.  Doesn't this look delicious?

Topped off with some deliciously tasty tomatoes and fresh mozzarella - I felt like I was in heaven. Which is weird, because I was in Hiroshima (one of the top ten most non-heaven like places in the world).  

At the time of eating, I declared this was the best pizza in Asia.  Maybe I was a little hasty but next time you are in Hiroshima you should definitely consider Pizzeria Mario Espresso in between stuffing your face with okonomiyaki (which you should also do).

Crust: 10
Sauce: 10
Toppings: 8
Ambiance: 9
VFM: 9
Overall: 10

Pizzeria Mario Espresso

Kind of near the Parco department store...
This may or may not be the address: 7-9 Fukuromachi, Hiroshima

Domino's

For some reason I have always loved Domino's Pizza.  I know that to some people it is just another crappy, mass-produced, pile of grease that is really only appropriate for a fourth meal.  However, this is because such individuals lack the class and sophistication necessary to truly appreciate the gastronomic nirvana that only an authentic Domino's hand tossed large cheese pizza exquisitely paired with ice cold Miller Lite can provide.

On a recent trip back to the United States for a wedding I heard that Domino's changed its recipe.  My first thought was:

WHY?!?!!!?!?!?!?!  

But then I found out that it just tastes the same, but with more garlic.  Therefore, it is still delicious to the third power. And to answer your question, no I am not in second grade, I just talk like I am.

Note:
Special thanks to Celia, Jamberg and BD for making my trip to Domino's possible. After the wedding ended at around 12:15 a.m., we called Domino's only to find out that they closed at midnight (WHY!?!?!?!?!?) in Palm Springs.  At this point, most people would give up. But I knew I had a powerful weapon in my arsenal: the persuasion skills of Celia D. Schwaltar.  She explained that we had a "situation" and convinced them to cook us just two more cheese pizzas.  Fifteen minutes later I was in the backseat of the Jambergmobile with two piping hot boxes of heaven.  Thanks guys!  

Happy Herb Pizza

Cambodian food had three of the characteristics I enjoy most in a cuisine, namely, it was 1. cheap, 2. delicious and 3. always served on a banana leaf. A handful of people have told me that it tastes like Thai food without the heat but in my opinion Cambodian/Khmer food had more elements of Indian food in it than Thai food does.  They also eat a LOT of fish which I did not expect given that I didn't even know they had a coastline.  Or the largest freshwater lake in Southeast Asia....

Nonetheless, there comes a point in any journey when you're through with the local fare and you just want to try a good pie.  GROSS I TOTALLY JUST SOUNDED LIKE ANTHONY BOURDAIN.

Upon the recommendation of Lonely Planet we tried our luck at Happy Herb pizza, one of the many Cambodian chains specializing in "happy" pizza...I'll let you make of that what you will, however if that were a real thing wouldn't they be serving it at college campuses all over America by the truckload?  Just saying.

We ordered 3 pizzas, and I think its pretty safe to say we were underwhelmed by all three.

My notes from the evening are nearly illegible but here's what I can make out:

"Its kinda shit."

"Looks like frozen pizza."

"Uninspired."

"Suboptimal kind of ok sucks."

"There's nothing good about this pizza."

"I like the blocks they're served on."

"I'm happied out."

But we had a fun time, and as a wise man once said, its not where you go, its who you're with.

And now for the ratings.

Crust: 3

Sauce: 3

Toppings: 3

Ambiance: 7

VFM: 7

Condiment Selection: 10

Overall: 4

Happy Herb Pizza
#068 Mondul 1, Khum Svay Dangkum
Siem Reap, Camboders

012 838 134