Pizzapalooza 2010 - Part 3 (Alternative Title: I just wanna know where the gold at)

Pizzapalooza 2010 - Part 2 was...somewhat underwhelming so I've moved on to Part 3 to spare you all the evidence of my mediocrity. Maybe once I finally discover the pizza dough equivalent of the holy grail I will post something about it so we can all look back at have a good laugh at ye olde days and think about how far I've come. It will be like thinking back to the days when Martha Stewart used to accidentally...oh I dunno kill yeast by making the water too hot or...commit massive securities fraud.

Any great chef will tell you that great pizza dough starts with putting the dough in too small of a bowl so that it rises all over your diet coke cans. I followed this rule meticulously in order to ensure amazing results (See Figure 1).

Figure 1

And now for the three candidates:

Best Pizza in Hong Kong Homemade Crust Candidate Number 3:  I used this dough recipe from the LA Times courtesy of my tried and true partner in transnational homemade pizza crimes Nic.  Obviously she is twice the woman I am because when I made this recipe it turned out to be totally dumps. Ok don't laugh (or scream)...here's what it looked like:

It's ghastly...I know.  The toppings were good though - olive oil, caramelized onions, mushrooms and cubed taleggio cheese. Had I not completely screwed up the dough this would have been a fab 'za.  Actually while we're on the topic...repeat after me...TALEGGIO...TALEGGIO...TALEGGIO.  It's really good. It smells like crap but trust me - put it on a pizza near you today.

Best Pizza in Hong Kong Homemade Crust Candidate Number 4:  I've stashed the recipe for this pizza dough, which I also, SHOCKER, received from Nic after the jump because firstly, its long and secondly, I just learned how to make a jump.  A few notes:  1.  It makes three pizzas, not two, unless you like a thick crust. 2.  If you try and slide a pizza onto a pizza stone while the stone is already in the oven without a pizza peel, you're probably really stupid and your pizza will take the shape of an amoeba (See Figure 2).  3.  Italian sausage (even from Wellcome) is really delicious. 4.  I still think the pizza sauce I describe here is the best - peeled canned tomatoes with a dash of sauteed garlic and onions (again - more evidence that I owe NW my life).  This dough was by far the easiest to work with - it was a beautiful elasticy ball of pizzaliciousness that I never imagined possible.  You could even toss it if you wanted/knew how...I'll leave it up to your imagination as to whether I just don't want or don't know how to toss pizza dough.

Figure 2

 

The pizza above was made with one half of the recipe and the two pizzas below (taco and taster's choice) were made with 1/4 each.  Both were fine but I think a 1/3 for each pizza would have been the way to go.

Taco pizza was the hit of the night (See Figure 3).  For ingredients, use normal tomato/pizza sauce (like the whole peeled tomatoes I've been using), taco-seasoned meat/meat substitute, green pepper, tomato, some sort of taco appropriate cheese mixed with mozzarella such as cheddar or monterey jack and salsa. Wait until the pizza is either out of or just about to come out of the oven to add the lettuce, crushed up tortilla chips and sour cream.  I guarantee this is better than any taco you'll get in Hong Kong.  The reason for this is easily explained by my NAFTA hypothesis...which is that any Mexican food outside of the NAFTA free trade zone is a joke.  Actually I should change this to the NAFTA rule because it is 100% without question correct.  Talk to me if you have any questions on that.  Also talk to me if you'd like to be an investor in the taco stand I plan to start in Lan Kwai Fong.

Figure 3

The pizza below was of the taster's choice/crap what the eff are we going to do with all these leftover toppings variety...obviously the left (caramelized onions, goat cheese and rocket) was the best.  That opinion has nothing to do with the identity of the individual who picked toppings for that side, I can assure you.

Best Pizza in Hong Kong Homemade Crust Candidate #5:

You can find the recipe here.  It was a bit dry/not chewy enough for my taste but I think this is [finally] one dough that turned out actually as the recipe intended. Throughout the day we referred to this crust as the "microwave crust" because of Kimbo Slice's magical microwave dough rising method (no, not THAT Kimbo Slice), which basically involves putting the dough in the microwave with a plastic bag on top and microwaving for 40 seconds at 30% power, then letting it sit for 10 minutes (repeat if necessary).  I've mentioned before that you can't be a pizza idiot if your name is Slice and although I was a doubter for the first two minutes of the experiment it actually turned out great! Just don't accidentally start cooking the dough...which we didn't.  ***SPECIAL GUEST SENTENCE FROM SLICE HERSELF: Being Slice, which I am - this method is fantastic if you work 'normal' HK hours.***

Ok back to me.  This was one of my first carb on carb pizza experiences (I'm usually kind of a traditionalist...actually I just really love Domino's plain cheese, ok shoot me) but it was actually really good. Just brush the crust with olive oil, add 3 or 4 sprigs worth of finely chopped rosemary, TALEGGIO cheese and approximately three thinly sliced new potatoes and you're...dare I say...golden?

In summary, although I don't yet believe I've reached the proverbial pot o' gold at the end of the pizza dough rainbow, *at least there is this hilarious leprechaun video to keep me happy until then.

Gratuitous pizza toppings shot:

Gratuitous pizza action shot:

To be continued...

Best Pizza in Hong Kong Homemade Crust Recipe #4

5 1/2 C high gluten high protein content flour

1 1/2 C cold water

3/4 C warm water

1/2 T sugar

1/2 T salt

1/2 t yeast

1 T olive oil

Combine yeast and warm (around 115F degrees...if you're not sure get a thermometer) water.  Mix rapidly. Add flour to mixing bowl.  Add salt, sugar and oil to cold water mixture and mix for one minute.  Pour cold water mixture into mixing bowl of flour and follow with warm water mixture.  Place on a dough hook for 10-12 minutes.  I don't have a dough hook so I just needed the shit out of it for about the same amount of time.  Add water if it appears dry.   Divide in half...forming into smooth ball.  Put in an oiled plastic bag and let rise overnight.

Note - if you have only a twelve or thirteen inch pizza stone like I do...you really should divide this recipe in 3 not 2.  In my opinion this recipe is made for badass New York pizza, not wimpy 13 inchers. So keep that in mind.