Pizza Box

By now you all know how I feel about Domino's. In which case you have probably lost all respect for me whatsoever....but for your information, I heard a rumor that Pizza Box in Hong Kong is run by the folks who previously ran the now failed Hong Kong Domino's and that they still make pizza with a similar recipe. I figured it was too good to be true so I immediately forgot about it.  And then, just like in the Book of Exodus, the dew evaporated, a delivery flier appeared in my mailbox and a manna from heaven, in the form of a sizzling Pizza Box cheese pizza, appeared in my apartment.  

I have a few problems with delivery pizza in Hong Kong, in particular, that it always takes forever and is ice freezing cold upon arrival.  I was pleasantly surprised to hear from the Pizza Box phone person that it would be 30-45 minutes.  Not bad...Food by Fone please take note: 2.5 hours is not an acceptable delivery time for food items that are intended to be hot.  Or otherwise.

I was absolutely shocked thrilled when the pizza came on time, hot and looking exactly. LIKE. a DOMINO'S pizza.

EXACTLY.

It also tasted like it.  The sauce is a little different, but the crust and cheese are dead ringers for the real Dominosalicious original.

I know I should be happy... but honestly I feel sort of hollow inside.  For the past two years in Hong Kong I've been looking for a replacement Domino's. Now that I've found it my life has no purpose!  Except waiting for the Vikings to win the Superbowl.  Given our quarterback situation that probably won't happen anytime soon.  So no need to keep me away from the suicide bridge in Guangzhou just yet.

Crust (delivery standard): 8
Sauce: 4
Toppings: 7
Delivery: 9
VFM: 7
Overall (delivery standards): 8

Pizza Box
2515-1515

Domino's

For some reason I have always loved Domino's Pizza.  I know that to some people it is just another crappy, mass-produced, pile of grease that is really only appropriate for a fourth meal.  However, this is because such individuals lack the class and sophistication necessary to truly appreciate the gastronomic nirvana that only an authentic Domino's hand tossed large cheese pizza exquisitely paired with ice cold Miller Lite can provide.

On a recent trip back to the United States for a wedding I heard that Domino's changed its recipe.  My first thought was:

WHY?!?!!!?!?!?!?!  

But then I found out that it just tastes the same, but with more garlic.  Therefore, it is still delicious to the third power. And to answer your question, no I am not in second grade, I just talk like I am.

Note:
Special thanks to Celia, Jamberg and BD for making my trip to Domino's possible. After the wedding ended at around 12:15 a.m., we called Domino's only to find out that they closed at midnight (WHY!?!?!?!?!?) in Palm Springs.  At this point, most people would give up. But I knew I had a powerful weapon in my arsenal: the persuasion skills of Celia D. Schwaltar.  She explained that we had a "situation" and convinced them to cook us just two more cheese pizzas.  Fifteen minutes later I was in the backseat of the Jambergmobile with two piping hot boxes of heaven.  Thanks guys!  

Pizzazorama - Part 1

From the moment I laid my eyes on this pizza dough I knew it was going to be fantasmagorical.  Actually it was super sticky and I had no faith in it whatsoever.  But that just goes to show you – when you are very mediocre at  what you’re doing – you should never trust your instincts. 

The recipe I used is the New York pizza crust and New York pizza sauce from Tomy Gemignani’s  (world pizza tossing champion) cookbook, which was co-written by Diane Morgan. This brings me to an important and extremely relevant to this blog's purpose question:  Why do you need a co-writer for a cookbook?  

ANYWAY...

This crust turned out to be amazing for the following reasons:  it was crispy yet chewy (center was still a little soggy but I will work on that) and it had BUBBLES in it just like New York pizza which was the direct result of my magical pizza tossing (or stretching) skills.  This was also my first attempt to date with a dough hook which I think also allowed me to use less flour – props to the E Street Band for that one. Lastly, I think the bread flour really contributed to the overall texture, and I look forward to using it with some other recipes in the future.   For toppings – I went with the pizza equivalent of a mat shot, which I like to call “Random mixture of cheeses whose only connection to each other was that they happened to be in Duffy’s fridge at the same time.”  As that’s not a very catchy title, I will think of a new name soon.  I’m thinking something along the lines of: Duffy’s Booyalicious Pizza.  What do you think?

Celeste 4 Cheese

I know what you're thinking.  What the hell is that? As in - what the hell is that that this deranged person thinks belongs on a blog about pizza?  Well, that, dear friends, is what you eat if you are pathetic and live in an office.  Bonus points for microwaving it on the box it came in instead of on a plate.  I rule.

But wait, it gets worse because I actually thought this wasn't half bad.  They've made great strides in microwave pizza since my day of microwave pizza (college) and the crust actually gets crispy now.  Exciting!  So take note, the internet and cell phones and myspace (RIP?) and facebook and technology that will enable us to extract 400,000 barrels per day of oil from the Bakken Shale in North Dakota aren't the only things that have been invented since then.  

In summary, next time you are  in your office and you are in need of a meal and you don't mind kind of weirdly fluorescent orange colored sauce and your only other option is, for example, quaker instant oatmeal congee anchovies flavor, pick up a Celeste microwave pizza for one.  Tell em I sent you.