Paisano's Central

I'm not really known to jump on bandwagons.  In fact, my first instinct when a mob of people tell me something is really spectacular is to find a way to disagree. Naturally, then, when I heard the hype about legendary Sai Kung pizza joint Paisano's coming to a location within stumbling distance of LKF, part of me really wanted to hate it with the fiery passion of a thousand red hot burning suns. Or at least be able to say in my most contemptuous voice "eh...it's ok...you know Hong Kong pizza...never very good" while shrugging disappointedly.

But FINE I admit it, OK? It IS really good.  So the disagreeable part of me was pissed, and the other part of me was overjoyed, and sang songs of praise to the heavens, for a new era of pizza had dawned on central Hong Kong, and just as the prophets had forewarned, it was indeed a delicious new era.

But you've already read all that crap about how good it is in Timeout and HK Mag so let me just tell you a couple of things you may not have heard already:

1. I don't love the sauce.  Please see me after class for more details.

2. I am just as crazy about giant pizza slices as the next gal, but the size of these slices is unambiguously, positively, categorically and outrageously ridiculous, some might even say preposterous, and almost as unnecessarily absurd as this completely excessive string of words describing the size. 

3.  Seriously though, I asked them to cut them in half the second time.  This isn't a too much of a good thing is a bad thing situation, it's just impossible to eat.  Especially if you eat it standing in the street outside the store - as God intended for you to eat it.

4.  I'm a firm believer that pizza slice vendors should remain open past 11 pm.  All night long would be preferable.

5.  I hope they start delivering soon as advertised. And I hope they know how to deliver pizza. As in, while it's still hot.

Crust: 9

Toppings: 7 (good cheese levels but the sauce is just ok)
VFM: 8
Ambiance: N/A

Overall: 9

Paisano's

9 Lyndhurst Terrace

Central, Hong Kong

2544 4445

Weekly Recipes on Geoff's Twitchen

Starting this week, I will be collaborating with Geoff over at Geoff's Twitchen to share with his many adoring readers some of the results of my homemade pizza experiments.  You can find the first entry here.  If you are one of the few HK food lovers who doesn't yet know about Geoff's Twitchen, head over right away!

Cul-De-Sac

Tucked away on Wing Wah lane down an alley from Lan Kwai Fong, Cul-De-Sac is one of Hong Kong's few late night food shops that doesn't serve exclusively noodles and fish balls.  I know I sound like a broken record here but although you could do better, you could also do much worse for pizza and/or late night food here in the Kong.  Cul-De-Sac also has a variety of other late night favorites like poutine and a good beer selection. However, if you're at Cul-De-Sac I would be willing to bet you probably don't need any more beer.

Crust:  A bit crackery, but generally inoffensive. 6

Sauce:  I hate it when the sauce gets baked into the crust, and this stuff doesn't really have much flavor.  2

Toppings: Basic, but ok.  Good cheese levels.  6

Ambiance: Alleys are nice, but not really to eat in.  4

Overall:  5

Cul-De-Sac

GF Block A Winner Building
Wing Wah Lane
Central

NYPD Pizza

The evolution of pizza from ancient flat bread to its indisputable position at the apex of culinary perfection is not really fully documented or explained. However, the evolution of pizza from the aforementioned apex to a pile of questionable quality cheese, premade dough and canned ingredients that arrives to your table (or...tvs stand?) in a cardboard box (Domino's is, natch, excluded from this description) is pretty easily explained by general human laziness. 

Nonetheless, allow me to step off my high horse to admit that a good, hot delivery pizza can sometimes be the non desert equivalent of a cool drink of water: refreshing and nourishing, like the nectar of the gods.

I'm not saying that this is what NYPD Pizza is, but in a land devoid of edible delivery pizza, I think you could definitely do worse.

Crust: Garlickly goodness? Yes sir!  Tastes a lot like the "new" Dominos, actually: 7

Sauce: Real tomatoes!! 7

Toppings: They screwed mine up, but I didn't see any problems otherwise: 6

Ambiance aka delivery: 5

VFM: 7

Overall:  7

NYPD Pizza

G/F, Shop 15

Finnie Street

Quarry Bay

2668 6973

Pizza Luce

One of the first and more unfortunate pieces of knowledge you acquire as a first year corporate lawyer is which pizza places deliver late night to your office.  One of the accompanying unfortunate pieces of knowledge you acquire is that eating delivery pizza late every night is really bad for you.  This is precisely why as you gain seniority in any corporate setting it is important to learn to delegate your work to junior people so that you can leave and go out to pizza late at night with your friends.  Although this is still wildly unhealthy, it is much more fun.

During my time working in downtown Minneapolis, Pizza Luce and I got to know each other well.  I still think they have some of the best toppings in the world. My favorite (pictured below) is the Ruby Rae, which has the toppings on upside down (which means more tomato sauce – yay) including sausage, cheese, garlic, spinach and tomato.  I’m also a fan of the baked potato pizza (classic carb on carb action) and the Pizza Lupe, which has ground beef, black beans, green onions, cheese and lots of other stuff. I especially appreciate the Pizza Lupe for those difficult evenings when you can’t choose between a pizza and a burrito.  The crust is, for me, unremarkable, but it stays out of the way and holds up the toppings like a champ.

Pizza Luce

Minneapolis, MN USA

Crust: 4

Toppings: 10

Sauce: 9

VFM: 5

Ambiance: 8

Overall: 8

Yosemite Pizza

There are a few things my annual trip to Yosemite for the birth of the great nation of the United States of America is known for, however pizza is not exactly one of them.  Ever since the great pizza grilling fiasco of 2006 (?), when we cluelessly tried to cook individually-topped personal pizzas for 20 people over a small, medium heat wood fire (somewhat shockingly, with limited success), it has been off the menu.  This year heralded in a new era of Yosemite pizza for two reasons.  One, Pizza Factory opened in Groveland to supplement the Mariposa location, bringing we toss ‘em they’re awesome that much more accessible for those driving to the cabin from the SF area instead of LA.  If you’re wondering about the Pizza Factory, you might want to check out Deets’ Pizza Factory ratings map, which can tell you which Pizza Factories to drive hundreds of miles out of the way (even ITE* even WTGP^) for and which ones are worth a miss.  Second, we had a small enough group that it was practical to cook pizza in the oven.

Although these turned out slightly burnt, they were tasty, had the advantage of being cooked inside away from the world’s hungriest mosquitoes and were fuel for some of the best views in the world the next day.  Never underestimate the importance of pre-hike carboloading.

I mean with these views, seriously, who gives a sh!t about the pizza?

*In THIS economy

^With THESE gas prices

Ziti's

If you haven’t been to Tin Hau lately, there’s a cute little strip of shops on Tung Lo Wan Road that includes local pizza joint Ziti's.  If you had never eaten out at a restaurant in Hong Kong, you might be surprised at its tiny size, limited wine list (one bottle of red and one bottle of white on offer) and bright lighting.  If you frequently dine out here, then I think you know the drill. 

My favorite pizza of our order was the Mediterranean, which included a healthy dose of feta cheese, artichokes, olives, grilled eggplant, zucchini and bell pepper.  The toppings were delicious. The margharita was uninteresting and disappointing.  It didn’t taste much different from a cheese pizza from any major pizza chain.

The crust at Ziti’s is thin and crispy and tastes fresh, however I prefer a chewier crust or something with at least a stronger flavor. 

Although I would go back to Ziti's for the Mediterranean, I think I might be better off trying to recreate it at home with better crust/sauce.

Crust: 6

Toppings: 4

Sauce: 4

VFM: 5

Ambiance: 3

Overall: 5

Ziti's
G/F, 110 Tung Lo Wan Road
Tin Hau, Hong Kong

2576 7700

Additional location on Hoi Wan Street, Quarry Bay

Papa Murphy's

Although I’m known amongst my friends for hanging on slightly too dearly to the nostalgic taste of pizzas from my childhood (although note that this is actually predicted by the so called Pizza Cognition Theory developed by Sam Sifton which as I'm sure you all know states that the first slice of pizza a child sees and tastes...becomes, for him, pizza), I will defend my love of Papa Murphy’s until I die.  If you’re not familiar with Papa (we are on a first name basis), his pizzas are prepared while you wait in an oven-safe tray for baking at home.  Delight crust is Papa Murphy’s lower-calorie crust but it is definitely my favorite because of its crunchtasticness.  The beauty of Papa Murphy’s is that it has the convenience of a frozen pizza in that you can eat it whenever you want, is a deal at US$7 for a large, and the toppings are 9,000% fresher.  In this case I enjoyed my Papa Murphy’s Rancher deLITE pizza on a beautiful Minnesota day at my parents’ house overlooking Lake Sylvan while loons called in the distance.  Perfection.

Papa Murphy's

Crust: 9

Sauce: 5

Toppings: 9

VFM: 10

Ambiance/Delivery: 8

Overall: 8

208 Duecento Otto

I'm sure you're already you're feasting your eyes on this miraculous looking, fantasmagorically charred pizza and wondering gee, what country do I have to travel to to get that?  

Well guess what, kiddos, this pizza was served in your very own backyard at the new restaurant 208 Duecento Otto on Hollywood Road. According to their website, they serve rustic Italian cuisine from a New York perspective. Since I have no idea what that means I am not sure if they achieved it but I do think they have potential in the pizza department.  

I'm not cool enough to have reservations at hip new places like this one so we ate in the outdoor patio area outside of the bar.  Rumor has it that 208 has an "authentic Napolitana" oven imported from Italy.  I could barely get them to serve me a pizza (waited probably an hour) so I figured that getting a tour of the kitchen or speaking with someone about the pizza oven was probably low on the priority list.  Nonetheless, you can tell that whoever made this pizza had some idea what he or she was doing.  It wasn't perfect, but I am tempted to go back and try again in about a month once they have their bad-yet-typical-of-new-restaurants service issues ironed out and everything up and running full time to give them another chance.  The crust is very thin yet filled with delicious chewy bubbles and charred to perfection.  However, it came out slightly soggy which makes me think either they haven't quit figured out how the humidity affects their dough or their oven wasn't hot enough. Or maybe they just rushed it since they forgot about our pizza and when we asked after everyone who was seated after us was finished eating they had to rush it in and out of the oven.

The quality of the toppings was exceptional.  I could have used more cheese, but the tomato sauce was very tasty and the cheese probably would not have been missed by someone who was less obsessed with cheese.

To sum it up, this place is a hip, fun alternative to the delicious-food vortex that is Soho/Wyndham St. and I hope more restaurants like this, the Press Room, etc. spring up in this area.  If you like pizza this is a must-stop on your list of restaurants to try.  Thanks to Erica for the tip on this new place!

Crust: 8

Toppings: 9

Sauce: 9

Ambiance: 9

VFM: 7

Overall: 9

208 Duecento Otto

G/F, 208 Hollywood Road

Sheung Wan

2549 0208

If it's good enough for Jack Abramoff...

Think you're too good to work at a pizzeria for US$10/hour?  Spend a few years in a federal prison for tax evasion, conspiracy to bribe public officials and various types of fraud and you may think again.

According to Yahoo News, our friend Casino Jack is working at Tov Pizza in Baltimore.  I wonder if they're going to re-write their menu as follows:

Tribal Bribe Pizza (shaped like a craps table) - US$85 million
Island Influence Pizza (featuring the traditional cuisine of Guam) - 36 payments of US$9,000 each
Senator's Favorite Pizza (comes with free golfing trip to Scotland) - US$0
Representative's Favorite Pizza (comes with free use of box at all Washington Sports Venues) - US$0

Mamma Mia Pizzeria

It's been a long time since I've had the pleasure of writing a review of some decent pizza; I'm just disappointed to say that this restaurant is located in Oxford, England approximately 6,000 miles away from the Kong.

Here are the things that made this pizza way better than Hong Kong pizza:

1. It was delicious.

Margherita di Bufala Pizza

San Fernando Pizza (Spinach, red onions, cherry tomatoes and goat cheese)

You thought that was it didn't you?  Ok here are the other reasons:

2.  The sauce was really really good. It was bright and zingy and it made the pizza taste like an explosion of tomatotastic flavor.  It is notable that I put this before number 3 because usually the first thing I consider is the crust.    

3.  The crust was also good, although it suffered from center sogginess disease (a blight caused by winter mold that ravaged the pizza crops of Italy during 1845-1852, causing the country's population to drop by 20-25% due to mass starvation and emigration).  

4.  CHEESE, glorious CHEESE! We're anxious to try it.  Three pizzas a day!  Our favorite diet!  Side note (or maybe re-writing the lyrics of food, glorious food from Oliver with cheese-related references was the side note and what is coming is the main note): the margherita pizza was notable in that the mozzarella was uncooked.  I'm not sure if this is traditional in Italy (don't think so?) but I prefer it cooked.  

5. I love goat cheese.

Below: gratuitous dining companion elbow shot

Crust: 9
Sauce: 10
Toppings: 9
VFM: 6 (Is anything in England a good value for money?)
Ambiance: 7
Total: 9

Mamma Mia Pizzeria

102 Walton Street, Jericho

Oxford

01865 311211

Peak Bar

Ever been wandering around Soho with a group of friends and no one will make a decision so you just end up going to an obvious place that's easy to find that's not that awesome but yet not that terrible?  If you were looking for drinks you probably ended up at Staunton's. If you were hungry you probably ended up at Peak Bar.

Why is it called Peak Bar even though it's not on the Peak?  Unclear.

Peak Bar actually has a pretty legit-looking pizza oven, which results in a tasty crust, especially compared to most other pizza joints in the area.  And just because I saw a cockroach crawling down the wall there once doesn't mean that there are lots of cockroaches.  Remember, if you see one cockroach there are actually zero other cockroaches where that one came from.  

The sauce is pretty good and I like their use of extremely melty cheese.  Therefore, if you are in the mood for eating a decent pizza while watching people stand on an escalator Peak Bar could be a good fit for you.  Don't worry about the cockroach thing...it's Hong Kong and you've probably already eaten many cockroaches since you got here.

Crust: 7

Sauce: 6

Toppings: 6

Ambiance: 7

VFM: 6

Overall: 6

Peak Bar

9-13 Shelley Street

Central
2140 6877

Barolo

As I walked into Barolo I saw no one.  This is usually not a good sign, however as it is my duty to faithfully search out and report on the good, the bad and the ugly of HK pizza, I tried it anyway.

Unfortunately, I'd definitely have to put this in either the godawful category or the godawful category.  That's a combination of bad and ugly I think.

Crust: 3

Sauce: 2

Toppings: 2

Ambiance: 5 - Good people watching on Hollywood Road

VFM: 4 

Overall:  3

Barolo
30 Hollywood Road

2810 1600

JoJo's Kebab Pizza Curry

You may have seen JoJo's Kebab Pizza Curry on Hollywood Road.  Or, you may have blinked, and missed it.  By my count, it was open for less than three months.  How a restaurant that sells pizza by the slice and kebabs can fail in a neighborhood where 85% of the foot traffic at any given time is wasted is a mystery of the ages...but then again this is Hong Kong and it is located in a vortex of WTF far outside the boundaries of the universe of common sense.

Since I had this picture already uploaded I wanted to at least say something about our good friend JoJo's pizza. However, since it's in poor form to say mean things about dead pizza restaurants (lest the ghost of pizza past haunt you in your sleep), I won't really review it. I was going to give it points for originality, though. I can truly say there is no other pizza in HK that tastes/d like this one.

May JoJo's Kebab Pizza Curry rest in peace.

Pizzeria Mario Espresso - Hiroshima

They say you can't judge a book by its cover but when it comes to judging western restaurants in Asia I usually judge them by the quality of English employed in their menu.  As in, if it says Serveral kinds of saues can be seleeted and some of the choices are Block pepper sauce Retchup and Mexico cilliy sauce, I'm not expecting too much.  Although the place was super cozetastic and had what I would describe as an up-north cabin on the coast of Maine nautical theme (for some reason), the menu could use review by someone who speaks English at greater than an age 4 level.  Therefore, for this and other reasons, including, but not limited to, that I was in Japan, I had my doubts.

Nonetheless, it gives me much joy to whole-heartedly report that their pizza is AWESOME in all capitals, which means I'm not kidding around.  After a somewhat depressing day learning about nuclear war and wandering around in the rain NOT attending a baseball game (it was rained out), this was just what I needed.

The crust at this place is the kind of crust you dream about at night.  Well it is the kind I dream about at night, at least. Soft, chewy, bubbly, slightly crispy at the slightly burnt places. I mean COME ON.  Doesn't this look delicious?

Topped off with some deliciously tasty tomatoes and fresh mozzarella - I felt like I was in heaven. Which is weird, because I was in Hiroshima (one of the top ten most non-heaven like places in the world).  

At the time of eating, I declared this was the best pizza in Asia.  Maybe I was a little hasty but next time you are in Hiroshima you should definitely consider Pizzeria Mario Espresso in between stuffing your face with okonomiyaki (which you should also do).

Crust: 10
Sauce: 10
Toppings: 8
Ambiance: 9
VFM: 9
Overall: 10

Pizzeria Mario Espresso

Kind of near the Parco department store...
This may or may not be the address: 7-9 Fukuromachi, Hiroshima

Jaspas Junk Pizza

While I'm often known to say: "There's nothing better than a delicious pizza" I found out recently on a Jaspas junk that "There is nothing better than a delicious pizza served al fresco on the top deck of a junk in the middle of the South China Sea on a lovely day after having had 8 beers."

For being made on a boat, this is surprisingly good pizza. The crust is chewy but not too much so, and there is a good amount of cheese. For some reason I really like the fact that they cut it up into really thin slices. My only complaint is the sauce - it is a little tomato pastey...

Needless to say, if Henry Hudson had cooked up some Jaspas pizza back in June of 1611 his sailors on the Discovery would not have mutinied and set him adrift with his son John in Hudson Bay leading to his eventual death.

Crust: 7
Sauce: 5
Toppings: 8
Ambiance: 10
VFM: 9
Overall: 7

Jaspas Junks
Tel: 2792 6001

Pizza Milano

It is axiomatic to state that there are very few good outdoor dining options in Hong Kong.  I suppose this could have something to do with the heat, humidity, pollution, lack of sidewalk space, cockroaches, high floor area ratio and a general propensity of this city's residents to prefer air conditioned areas to the outdoors.  The relatively unknown Pizza Milano is one of the few rooftop restaurants in Central.  It doesn't really have a view per se, but there's nothing like that grand old Hong Kong feeling of being completely surrounded by hundreds of buildings to make up for the lack of view.  Am I right?

Thought so.  Now on to the pizza.  I'm delighted to say it was actually pretty good.  I might even come back for it even if they didn't have a rooftop beer garden.  The crust was thin but not too crunchy, and I'm a sucker for golden delicious air bubbles, as shown here:

As the toppings, sauce etc. were not particularly remarkable other than that there was an adequate amount of cheese which I appreciate, the only thing I have left to say about this place is that the service teetered ominously on the precipice of horrendous. [I should get a part time job writing high school vocabulary review worksheets, yes?]  At one point, we had to call the restaurant on a cell phone to ask them to deliver a San Miguel we ordered twenty minutes previously. It was delivered within 30 seconds after that, but still.  No one should have to go through that much effort for a beer as crappy as San Miguel.

Crust: 9

Sauce: 7

Toppings: 8

Ambiance:  7 (this is the average of a 9 for the rooftop beer garden and 5 for the spotty service)

VFM: 7

Overall: 8

Pizza Milano

9/F, Cheung Hing Commercial Building

No. 37-43 Cochrane Street (directly to the west of the Lyndhurst Terrace Pizza Express, next to 7-11. The entrance is on Gage Street)

Central

2581 2848

For more on rooftop terraces in the Kong, see here.

Pizza Simpatico

I hate that phenomenon where everyone tells you something is really good and then you expect it to be really good so then when you go and it's just sort of ordinary you are really disappointed. This accurately describes my experience with the movie Crash (which won the Oscar for best picture in 2004) and Pizza Simpatico (which won best pizza in Timeout HK for 2009).
Well kiddos, it's 2010 and I don't think Pizza Simpatico is going to make the varsity squad this year.  I'm not sure if this says more about the deliciousness of Pizza Simpatico, or my extremely refined and sophisticated pizza palate.
First, the ambiance was a little too operating room and a little light on the coze.  Strike one.  The toppings could have been fresher, more delicious, more plentiful, etc.  Strike two.  Lastly, I'm still annoyed that this was voted best pizza in Hong Kong. Because it isn't. Strike three.

On a positive note, the oven looked 2 legit 2 quit. Perhaps with extensive training of their staff by someone with an extremely refined and sophisticated pizza palate, they could put that puppy to work.

Crust: 5

Sauce: 5

Toppings: 5

Ambiance: 5 (However...I'd give them another chance if the weather were ever perfect for patio pizza dining)

VFM: 5

Overall: 5

Pizza Simpatico

Shop 19, 1/F, Peak Galleria, 118 Peak Road

The Peak

2849-0001

UPDATE:  Now closed.

This changes the pizza landscape

Domino's Pizza (NYSE: DPZ) released its quarterly earnings this week, and boy oh boy were they CRAZY!  You can read all about it here, but its save to say that I was right. Domino's does rule.

Also, for those of you out there looking for a good gift for me, a subscription to Pizza Today would probably be pretty sweet.

Pizzazorama Part II

For this installment of my adventures in home pizza mediocrity, I took a mulligan on two recipes I've tried and liked before.  

For the first pizza, I went with Pizzazorama Part I - Tony G's New York style crust. I still really like this crust because it is delicious and easy to work with.  I used Hong Kong Flour Mills Golden Statue Bread Flour, which I like for a few reasons which I will not discuss here because it's boring.  But if you knew anything about me, you'd probably guess one of the reasons involves availability at Wellcome instead of at an expensive expat grocery store a mile away.

Look mom! A pizza that is actually shaped like a circle instead of an amorphous blob!

Not for long lil Duff, you have no clue how to properly use a pizza peel.  Sorry, try again.

The below uses what has become my favorite one-day crust (as in, does not require overnight cold fermentation) which you can find here under Candidate Number 2.   The edges still ended up a bit crispy but I will fix that next time with olive oil...which is what I also said last time but forgot.  Geeze I should totally like keep a record of what I do each time I make a pizza in the form of an internet journal complete with recipes, pictures and commentary or something so I don't forget these things.
Also, in case you haven't found out yet, Mexican pizza is delicious (Happy Cinco de Mayo Amigos!).  Using chorizo as done here (available at Wellcome, surprisingly) has the double benefit of being (1) delicious and (2) better for lazy people because it eliminates any work and/or forethought required in actually making taco meat.

I'm thinking I need to come up with a signature sign off a la Walter Cronkite or Ron Burgundy so I don't just end posts awkwardly with a picture of a misshapen pizza.  Thoughts?

Black Sheep Cafe

I was planning on parking it on the couch with eighteen episodes of Gossip Girl and some melted cheese last Saturday but NO of course it had to be absolutely perfect beautiful sunny weather for the first time since December so I was forced to go outside and hike Dragon's Back to Shek-O. Luckily my unhealthy habits prevailed and I still ended up at a pizza place.  I will work on the Gossip Girl situation at a later date.  Such as during a typhoon.

I usually associate Shek-O with overpriced, mediocre Thai food.  I can tell you that you are going to have a hard time convincing me to go to one of those places again knowing what I know about the delicious 'za available.

Firstly and most importantly the crust.  The crust on the first two pizzas we ordered could have been cooked longer, therefore we didn't like it very much, as evidenced by the following:

Actually it was good, but we ordered a third pizza and the crust was nearing perfection.

We went with the margherita, magic mushroom and Planet Cheese (capitalized due to its status as a proper noun describing a particular place) pizzas.  The magic mushroom pizza had white sauce which was nastastic, but other than that the tomato sauce on the others was actually really good - not too thick, no tomato paste flavor and not too strong.

The Planet Cheese and margherita pizzas were virtually indistinguishable but that may have been our fault for nixing the anchovies on the latter.  Although since when do margherita pizzas have anchovies?  I would have gone with slightly more cheese here but its not a fatal flaw.  

The ambience is cozetastic and perfect for sitting outside if it's not too hot.  One thing that I don't understand is the back room which is filled with black lights and the accoutrements that usually accompany them...but I guess it goes with the magic mushroom pizza?  In any event, don't let that fool you into thinking you can come here on a college stoner's budget...the munchies to dollar spent ratio is a bit low.  

Crust: 9

Sauce: 9

Toppings: 7

Ambiance: 7

VFM: 6

Overall: 8...but I'm leaning towards a 9

Black Sheep Cafe

Somewhere on Shek O Road

2809 2021

Pizza Box

By now you all know how I feel about Domino's. In which case you have probably lost all respect for me whatsoever....but for your information, I heard a rumor that Pizza Box in Hong Kong is run by the folks who previously ran the now failed Hong Kong Domino's and that they still make pizza with a similar recipe. I figured it was too good to be true so I immediately forgot about it.  And then, just like in the Book of Exodus, the dew evaporated, a delivery flier appeared in my mailbox and a manna from heaven, in the form of a sizzling Pizza Box cheese pizza, appeared in my apartment.  

I have a few problems with delivery pizza in Hong Kong, in particular, that it always takes forever and is ice freezing cold upon arrival.  I was pleasantly surprised to hear from the Pizza Box phone person that it would be 30-45 minutes.  Not bad...Food by Fone please take note: 2.5 hours is not an acceptable delivery time for food items that are intended to be hot.  Or otherwise.

I was absolutely shocked thrilled when the pizza came on time, hot and looking exactly. LIKE. a DOMINO'S pizza.

EXACTLY.

It also tasted like it.  The sauce is a little different, but the crust and cheese are dead ringers for the real Dominosalicious original.

I know I should be happy... but honestly I feel sort of hollow inside.  For the past two years in Hong Kong I've been looking for a replacement Domino's. Now that I've found it my life has no purpose!  Except waiting for the Vikings to win the Superbowl.  Given our quarterback situation that probably won't happen anytime soon.  So no need to keep me away from the suicide bridge in Guangzhou just yet.

Crust (delivery standard): 8
Sauce: 4
Toppings: 7
Delivery: 9
VFM: 7
Overall (delivery standards): 8

Pizza Box
2515-1515

Domino's

For some reason I have always loved Domino's Pizza.  I know that to some people it is just another crappy, mass-produced, pile of grease that is really only appropriate for a fourth meal.  However, this is because such individuals lack the class and sophistication necessary to truly appreciate the gastronomic nirvana that only an authentic Domino's hand tossed large cheese pizza exquisitely paired with ice cold Miller Lite can provide.

On a recent trip back to the United States for a wedding I heard that Domino's changed its recipe.  My first thought was:

WHY?!?!!!?!?!?!?!  

But then I found out that it just tastes the same, but with more garlic.  Therefore, it is still delicious to the third power. And to answer your question, no I am not in second grade, I just talk like I am.

Note:
Special thanks to Celia, Jamberg and BD for making my trip to Domino's possible. After the wedding ended at around 12:15 a.m., we called Domino's only to find out that they closed at midnight (WHY!?!?!?!?!?) in Palm Springs.  At this point, most people would give up. But I knew I had a powerful weapon in my arsenal: the persuasion skills of Celia D. Schwaltar.  She explained that we had a "situation" and convinced them to cook us just two more cheese pizzas.  Fifteen minutes later I was in the backseat of the Jambergmobile with two piping hot boxes of heaven.  Thanks guys!  

Pizzazorama - Part 1

From the moment I laid my eyes on this pizza dough I knew it was going to be fantasmagorical.  Actually it was super sticky and I had no faith in it whatsoever.  But that just goes to show you – when you are very mediocre at  what you’re doing – you should never trust your instincts. 

The recipe I used is the New York pizza crust and New York pizza sauce from Tomy Gemignani’s  (world pizza tossing champion) cookbook, which was co-written by Diane Morgan. This brings me to an important and extremely relevant to this blog's purpose question:  Why do you need a co-writer for a cookbook?  

ANYWAY...

This crust turned out to be amazing for the following reasons:  it was crispy yet chewy (center was still a little soggy but I will work on that) and it had BUBBLES in it just like New York pizza which was the direct result of my magical pizza tossing (or stretching) skills.  This was also my first attempt to date with a dough hook which I think also allowed me to use less flour – props to the E Street Band for that one. Lastly, I think the bread flour really contributed to the overall texture, and I look forward to using it with some other recipes in the future.   For toppings – I went with the pizza equivalent of a mat shot, which I like to call “Random mixture of cheeses whose only connection to each other was that they happened to be in Duffy’s fridge at the same time.”  As that’s not a very catchy title, I will think of a new name soon.  I’m thinking something along the lines of: Duffy’s Booyalicious Pizza.  What do you think?

Celeste 4 Cheese

I know what you're thinking.  What the hell is that? As in - what the hell is that that this deranged person thinks belongs on a blog about pizza?  Well, that, dear friends, is what you eat if you are pathetic and live in an office.  Bonus points for microwaving it on the box it came in instead of on a plate.  I rule.

But wait, it gets worse because I actually thought this wasn't half bad.  They've made great strides in microwave pizza since my day of microwave pizza (college) and the crust actually gets crispy now.  Exciting!  So take note, the internet and cell phones and myspace (RIP?) and facebook and technology that will enable us to extract 400,000 barrels per day of oil from the Bakken Shale in North Dakota aren't the only things that have been invented since then.  

In summary, next time you are  in your office and you are in need of a meal and you don't mind kind of weirdly fluorescent orange colored sauce and your only other option is, for example, quaker instant oatmeal congee anchovies flavor, pick up a Celeste microwave pizza for one.  Tell em I sent you.

Brivo

If I changed my rating to letter-based instead of number-based I'd really have to do the exact opposite of going out on a limb and give this one a big fat O for ordinary, meaning that it has the same rating as approximately 94% of the pizzas in the Kong.  I'm so T for tired of ordinary pizza that I can't even think of much to say about this place other than that you could do worse.  And that if you like a really crispy thin crust you might like this place. 

Crust: 6
Sauce: 5
Toppings: 6
Ambiance: 6
VFM: 6
Overall: 5

Brivo

36B Staunton Street

2899 2244